I wasn’t going to post anything today. I had the day off today. It’s also Father’s Day. And for the second year in a row, I’m without my wife and two kids. A streak I’m not all that proud of. I spent most of the day wondering if my being away from my family three weeks a year is worth it. And one of my students tonight actually asked me that very question. In that moment, I blurted out “I don’t know”…and then immediately regretted saying it.
On the one hand, this is a great gig. I get to live in two of the most beautiful cities in the world and experience all that they have to offer…while also being paid! (Cue the violin right?) This is also one of the most rewarding professional experiences of my career. Academia is rife with feelings of imposter syndrome. You’re constantly surrounded by brilliant people at all times and it can be humbling. But in this role, I feel like I’m doing what I’m supposed to be doing and that I’m pretty good at it. I feel like I’m having a positive impact. I can see lights turning on within these students that will never turn off.
But on the other, I do all those things without MY crew. Tonight my son needed me and all I could offer was a few words over the phone. I’m missing ball games, movie nights, and goofy conversations that I’m not going to get back. It’s a mind job of the Nth degree. I hate that I have to leave them to do this.
But tonight, this amazing group of students took it upon themselves to invite me to dinner and celebrate my Father’s Day. All 20 of them. They bought me a Coke with my name on it, made me a card with handwritten notes, and even paid for my dinner. It was too much. The notes are kind and genuine. I’ve written before that Sundays are for family in Spain. And while I’m not with MY family (and these students are not with their fathers), I so appreciate spending this Father’s Day with this new family we’ve created.
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